He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
