Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Mom said you looked used
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
