Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
