The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
