I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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