I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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