is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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