I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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