He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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