I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
