i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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