i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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