Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
