Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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