i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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