haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
