i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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