after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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