garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
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