a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
