were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
