Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
