"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
