i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Sober January is a disaster.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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