You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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