Define "chronic" masturbator.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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