I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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