What a fucking waste of an outfit
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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