yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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