thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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