I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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