he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
