the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
