You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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