I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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