tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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