if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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