you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
