Fuck appropriateness.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
