So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
