I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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