Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
