In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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