so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
