2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
