Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
