playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
