So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
