"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Randomize
