somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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