I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
