She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
