Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
