Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
